‘Please, please you don’t have to.’ Esther cried. Why was her parents doing this? Her
younger sister had just gotten married two years ago, why did hers have to be
different? They had been brought up, and groomed with the mindset that all women
are made for marriage alone. She accepted that culture, dined, and wined with it. But
no, this was no marriage.
‘You will be happy. You will have kids, You will fulfill your calling.’ Her mother
said, dressed up as the mother of the bride. She wass too vexed that her daughter
wasn’t ready for her groom. Her husband must not meet them like this, else they
would suffer for it.
‘This is the best we could get for you, you know we had been looking for a spouse
for you ever since. Your younger sister, Leah, is married. If not that we are honest
people, we would have made a swap or delayed the marriage, but Leah doesn’t
deserve that.’ Her mother stated, trying to steady her daughter, to braid her hair.
‘I will work hard, I will farm, I will work on the threshing floor with you. I can take
care of the flock. Please. I will earn my wages in your house.’ She cried, pleading
with her mother, trying to hold her gaze, but pushed back to look forward.
‘Why exactly is she not ready!’ Her dad roared, startled both mother and daughter.
‘Erhm, she- she will soon be ready. Just give us some more time.’ Her mother
stuttered. Esther made to speak to her father, to present her pleas, but was dragged
back by her mother. She knew it would not end well.
‘Father, please, let me stay with you. I will work for you and earn my stay!’ She
forced herself to say. Her father laughed, it was a scary laughter.
‘What work is there for your frail hands to do? All of your mates are married! Your
younger sister is married too! You are 25 and unmarried. I refuse to allow you to
grow any further in my house!’ He shouted. Leah rushed to him, held his legs. He
pushed and kicked her.
‘My lord, please! She ought to look presentable to her lord.’ Her mother rushed in
front of her, kneeling.
‘You should be happy I made this arrangement for you! Who else cared for their old
unmarried daughter?!’ He shouted, pushing both mother and daughter.
‘I wish I had run away! To live freely of my own will? What rights do you have
over my life?’ Esther spat angrily, standing up. Her mother turned to slap her on her
back, better than a beating from her father.
‘We gave you life! Fed and raised you! And now you say what rights?’ Her father
slapped her across the face, and wasn’t pleased. He pushed her to the floor.
‘This is your portion to the family. He is a good man, you will be a good concubine
to him and satisfy him. You will bear him children, if God shines his face upon
you, you bear him an heir.’ Her Father ROARED. Silence.
‘If you had gone out, you would see reasons to be grateful. You wouldn’t even last a
day. You would be used for pleasure and dumped! Thank Jehovah you are still a
virgin! Get her ready. Quick! I have no time to waste.’
He went away. Esther sobbed. Her mother quickly got her up, prepared her, and
veiled her. It was all useless though, she would be a concubine. She raised a
concubine, but it didn’t matter, as long as she fulfilled her God-given duties, she
would be blessed.
‘You should be grateful like your father said.’ Her mother persisted. She had no
voice of her own, only to align with her husband’s. She was sorry for her daughter,
she held back tears.
‘Your only escape is to give birth to an heir, you hear me?’ She said in haste, as if to
press the thoughts deep into her mind. She turned Esther towards her, and hugged
her. Oh, her child, her sweet child had met with a bad fate.
‘That is your only escape. That is how you gain power. Hear the words of your
mother, my dear child.’ Her mother said many other things, but Esther was blank,
she had fought, she had been fighting. She wanted to war like the men, but they had
told her she had fairytale dreams, she wanted to go out to farm, but they segregated
her to the kitchen and the threshing floor. She wanted to be more, but they limited
her to all they believed she could ever be. This was it, this is where her life ends. She
had hoped she would get married to someone who would see her, but luck didn’t
shine so well on her. She was too homely, and not beautiful as a wife. Oftentimes,
she was degraded to the very ‘deal’ which was now her saving grace. Her parents
feared for her, that she would grow old alone and die without children to continue for
her, worse, they feared she would grow out of their protection and be ‘used’
someday.
‘The worst thing to happen to a woman is to be used by those strange sojourners,
those rascals. Our people are losing strength, you must belong to one of us, a citizen
like us, not the …’ Her mom would say it again and again. She would mention
stories of women who left the protection of their people, to be abused by an
uncircumcised rascal. She would mention Dinah, she would mention many that still
happen, and she would say she must be kept for marriage. This wasn’t the marriage
she was promised if she kept herself, they lied, they all lied.
She was dropped by her father and never looked back. He got her price and left. She
wished for death. Maybe, but maybe she could find peace here, maybe this man who
looked almost the age of her father, maybe he would neglect her. She had no plans of
fulfilling her rites, she had no rites to fulfill if she was just his concubine anyway. He
spoke few words to her, not many. He gave her work to do, and she did. He was a
quiet, cold man. Soon, it was dusk, and she expected him, but nothing happened,
could her prayers be answered? He was a Levite after all, a good thing and a bad
thing, what was he doing with a concubine? Aren’t they devoted to God himself?
Did God allow this? Then perhaps God was the orchestrator of her problems.
He had weird routines, he was always praying, and he was alone too. She wondered
where his wives were, hidden? She had expected rivalry and women’s scorn, but she
received none. Perhaps this was a good thing. He didn’t force her to pray and she
preferred it, she wasn’t on good speaking terms with God for now. He seemed like a
good man, and that baffled her. He was on the move, and that explained that he was
alone, and with his servants.
She was tired, and one day the thought came to her, to run away. She weighed it,
tested it, and she finally did. She had nowhere to go and she believed herself stupid
for considering it, but she ran to her father’s house. Her mother cried seeing her, she
hugged her, she fed her, but she was scared for her. Her mother had a plan, even
though she was not sure it would work. One look at her daughter and she was right.
She had hidden and watched as she slept peacefully, she was sure she needed to
protect her now, the same protection her mother owed her.
Esther heard voices, crying, and shouts. She was too tired, heavy with sleep to move
or get up.
‘Can’t you see she had resilience? She traveled for more than two days journey and
still came back here, to us!’ She pleaded, she stayed a considerable distance from
him.
‘You must be very stupid, in fact foolish. Call her out now and send her back!’ He
shouted, moving closer to the entrance of the inner chambers.
‘You won’t find her inside. Just wait, wait, hear me first.’ She pleaded, she dared not
block his way. He went in, and came out, not finding his daughter, Esther.
‘You spoil her life! You want to hide a concubine who has decided to whore away
from her lord?! That is just stupidity, Ephizibah. You spoil the life of your daughter
this way.’
‘Please my lord, the man has no use for her! Doesn’t it seem weird to you? He’s a
Levite!’
‘And so? You will go in now, and send her back.’
‘It is late.’
‘I will take her back.’
‘He has never touched her!’
‘What?’
‘Yes, I know, she has not gone through womanhood, she is left untouched!’
‘The moment we collected the price for her, we gave her life as a possession to her
lord. Whatever he does to her or with her is not any of our concern!’ He was a little
moved, he sat down.
‘I know you still care for her. She will waste away. Please don’t let her go back.’
Annoyed, ‘ You are insane, I know nothing of this if he comes and brings his wrath
upon you. You and your daughter will bear it alone! Stupid women!’ He said and
stormed out. She knew he would then go to drink, come back by midnight, and use
her. She was used to this life, but she hoped for love and care for her daughter.
The Levite man came back. Maybe this was it. He cared to chase her down? Her
mother was excited! Over the moon even.
Her father had other plans. He made merry, brought drinks, everything, gave him
lodging with Esther to be in the same room, and gave lodgings to his donkey and
servants. The Levite man agreed to stay for the night.
Esther was scared for her life, she wondered what this meant. It’s been four months
since she ran to her father’s house. It is unheard of! Labeled a whore for running
away.
Her father did the same thing, gave him drinks, and declared a party, causing him to
be merry.
On the third day, she already figured it out, her father hoped to appease him on her
behalf, yet hoped he would go in to Esther. He didn’t. Her father continued his
antics, until this man, who hardly spoke, was quiet and only said words that were
needed, heavy words, denied the invitation of her father to merry, even after drinking
that late afternoon.
‘Let me go, I must hurry towards my home.’ His voice was husky, deep, resonated
and vibrated. Esther was sad to go, but somehow she knew she had no choice than to
go with him. She was scared of how this would turn out, she hoped he was fully
appeased, she hoped he truly cared for her to chase her down. Instead, he might have
chased her down because he felt insulted to lose his possession? He might truly have
a punishment planned for her or he just did not care so much about her. All she could
do was hold on to hope, even hope was a luxury to her kind.
They passed by a city- ‘Jebu’, his servants suggested he go into it, but he declined.
He said he would rather he stayed in another far down, than journey amongst
strangers that weren’t part of their nation. Proud, He sounded just like her father, yet
she hoped he was different.
They found a place to stay in Gibeah, and a man, one of their own nation, offered
them lodging. The city was oddly quiet, and they received stares from men, weird.
They thought not so much of it. They merried, it was a weird thing how strangers
from different tribes but the same nation merried like brothers, like they had known
each other before then. Esther relaxed. She made friends with the man’s daughter.
However, when the man learned of her status, he gave his daughter a look not to
associate so much with her. ‘Bad company affects good manners’. She didn’t bother
so much about it, they would soon leave anyway, and she would see neither of them
again.
At night, He finally gave in and relieved himself with her. She didn’t mind anymore.
She could as well be the concubine designed for her, she wasn’t any more than that.
She bled and cried, he wouldn’t let her scream, he covered her mouth, and he did so
aggressively. She still ached and was sore. She felt awfully weak. Her mother had
not told her this was how painful it would be.
A while, when they settled to sleep, they heard loud bangs! A long night indeed.
Scared, her heart beat loudly, for some reason she could sense danger. She sat up
immediately, the Levite man beside her. She cried to sleep, now she awakened with
fear. The bangs came again, it felt like it was on her brain, her head, her body, all of
her was in pain. Her thoughts made her relive last night over and over again. She had
hoped to enjoy it, but she did not.
The voices came, very drunk voices, ‘Oi! Old man, we saw the very fine man that
came to you the noon before, bring him out to us.’ Their voices were loud and
wicked. Esther didn’t know how a voice could sound wicked but it did. She was
disgusted, purely disgusted. She had only heard rumours of such strange acts, men
with men? This was the very act that caused death amongst her people, it was the
law of God, it would be to sin against him. She had heard her parents read the law to
her and her siblings, she heard stories of a city destroyed for same sex dealing with
themselves as opposite. The voices came again louder, consistent, they vowed to
break down the door. That would never happen! She was sure the men with them
would find a way, fight them, kill them if they must, she hoped her lord would find a
way to run with her and their load. She hoped.
‘Give them to us now!’ THEY LAUGHED, THREATENED, AND BANGED.
‘He looked so delicious…’
‘Yummy! He is the man!’
Her Lord cringed outwardly! He stood up as one ready for war. Yes! Get them, levite
man! At this point, she was with the old man’s daughter, they feared greatly,
whimpering and crying.
‘Please, do not do such a vile thing to my guest. His honour falls on me. Rather, take
my daughter. She is a virgin, she will be to your pleasure!’ The old man said, and
reached for his daughter. Esther held her tight, they held each other tight, and they
cried. What was this? He would give his own daughter to these uncircumcised men?
To abuse her and use her? All men on her?
‘No, no, father, no, please’ she wailed.
‘You will answer me at once!’ He slapped her, and dragged her away from Esther’s
arms. She cried, and kicked her hands and legs. Esther followed, holding onto her,
pleading. She saw herself, she saw how she had pleaded with her father.
The Levite man stopped him, then he looked at Esther. She knew that instant- this
was how she was to be useful to him. She had heard of cultures that sacrificed
females to prostitution altars, or that gave females as refreshments to guests. No, this
was brutality. Yes, she was a concubine but she deserved more, she believed God
had made her for more, He had to have, He had to have created her for more than a
‘thing of possession or ownership’.
He took her by the hand. She pleaded softly, her voice failed her- ‘Please.’ He was a
Levite, He was supposed to be a righteous judge, and he was supposed to represent
God’s priestly nature.
He dragged her towards the entrance. She pleaded violently now, ‘Please don’t do
this, no, please, please.’ She wailed. No more words, he thrusted her outside.
Silence.
One look at her, her fair yet brown sweetly framed body. She wore a light satin.
Seductive much? She was pleasing to the eyes. She was a sight to behold, drunk by
their desires. They are hungry, led, impatient. They took her to a cave. They sang as
they took her, deaf to her sobs, or her wailing, neither did they care.
They took their turn, one by one, and sometimes together, one on her upper part,
another thrusting violently in her. She wailed, she pleaded, she cried, yet there was
no one to save her.
They played with her body, enjoyed themselves, and satisfied their pleasures. They
handled her in all manners as it pleased them, violently, aggressively. They abused
her all night. She had no rest, they rested and came again. Food to their bellies. They
left her by dawn.
One ragged breath after the other, one heavy step after the other, one dragging feat
after the other, she went to the entrance of the old man’s door. She bowed down
there, she rested. From dawn till it was daybreak. Her lord came out, and like it was
any other morning, asked her to get up so they may be on their way. She gave no
response, slowly breathing. She heard the soft muffled cries of her new friend, the
old man’s daughter. She could feel the heavy stares of her lord’s servants. Her Lord
carried her, and placed her on one of his donkeys. HE LEFT FOR HOME.
Then the man got home. She knew- she was of no use to him anymore, she was
empty and used, a defiled concubine. She had no life to live anymore. Just like her
mother said, the worst fate had befell her. She gave in to her despair. She was dead
before she was killed. The Levite man took her, killed her, slaughtered her, and
divided her up into pieces, as though an atonement for her sins, she would not even
fit an atonement. He sliced her up into twelve pieces, and he sent each piece into all
the coasts of their nation.
It was never heard of what he did, It was never done. People heard of it, but none
could speak of it except in hushed tones, she was a concubine, she was a female, and
that was the end of her life, it was to be so.
Igbinlade Temiloluwa Princess